Dear Mona,

I heard you for the first time on the radio last Sunday on my way home from work. I was very impressed. I live in Las Vegas and will try to make it a point to listen to you each Sunday. I can't believe I have resorted to contacting you, but I am so saddened and I don't know what to do.

I am a 56-year-old woman married to a very wonderful and strong 60-year-old man. We have only been married for a year and a half and now my husband wants to separate. I am planning on moving out, because I want more than anything for him to be happy. I am devastated inside. Since I first met my husband, I felt as if I were on top of the world, I just couldn't believe I could be so lucky to have found the most wonderful handsome man. Now my world is crashing down and I don't know what I can do.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I just don't have the nerve to call you and air my personal business on the radio—because I am certain I would break down and cry.

Devoted One

Dear Devoted One,

I did two different spreads—a relationship spread and one just for you.

The relationship spread speaks to your husbands desire "to be free" and according to my cards has always viewed marriage as a trap. He'd rather escape than face anything intensely emotional. Instead of talking with you about his discomfort…with getting older, with other women flirting with him, with a real sense of connection with another person…it's easier to leave.

Okay, your personal spread…My cards say that if you want to keep this man, that you have to develop a little bit of a backbone. Be ready to leave but don't expect to leave. Start treating him like he's not that great…be polite but don't hang on his every request as though it's the most important thing in the world. If he wants to leave let HIM leave. Don't cater to him, don't center your life on him and find other interesting things to do in Las Vegas that don't include him. They only way to keep this man is to let him chase you like the great catch you are.

Reality check—Your husband is NOT that great a catch. I want you to think about the times when what you did for him wasn't really that appreciated. I want you to think about the times he was inconsiderate. And mostly, I want you to realize that IF he WAS the amazing man you've described him to be, he wouldn't want to leave.

Also, think about how much you've changed since the relationship began. Some women collapse their life into their man's and frankly that's too much pressure on the man. Perhaps the independent, fun, and coquette woman you used to be may have become passive, overly solicitous and maybe a little needy. Even in the discussion of you separating, you're the one making it easier on him by offering to move out.

Your cards do indicate love between you, but I'm also seeing that you have to be willing to let it go to keep it.

What happens if he doesn't chase you? Well, he really wasn't worth it was he? You have to be strong enough to move on if he's not going to meet you halfway.

Thank you for writing,
Mona