Dear Mona,

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and married for 5-1/2. When we came home from our vacation in February of this year he initially told me he didn't look at me "that way" any longer and that he looks at me as a friend, that it's been this way for years. We have spent years taking in friends and relatives and getting them on their feet. We've been alone in our house since August for the first time since we bought it three years ago. He started to not come home at night until 3, 4, 5 and 6 a.m. every evening saying that he was meeting CFOs, etc. at the Foundation Room and building his business. I was extremely supportive of his efforts. He has always wanted me to work with him (I went back to my former career as a court reporter to help him get the business off the ground) but now doesn't want anything to do with me, although he says he does.

On Easter Sunday he asked for a divorce. I don't want a divorce—I truly love him. Last week I found Meth in his desk. This substance is now in my attorney's office (his dad had me bring it there thinking we could get him in rehab with him knowing it was there.) He says it wasn't his and that he didn't do it. I know he had used Meth prior to meeting me.

Fast forward to currently and I have to make a decision as to whether to keep the house we have and whether or not to fight him for some assets in the business. I could go on about this…maybe the cards can reveal something beneficial for me.

He had acted like he was so in love with me up until this had happened. My head is spinning and a part of me doesn't believe he feels this way. 

Pending Divorcee


Dear Pending Divorcee,

As painful as this time is, it has a purpose, actually a rather large Karmic purpose for you. It is time to fold your hand and walk away. You've been "All-in" for this entire marriage and he's been one foot out the door for the last year.

He's not the big shot he pretends to be and those evenings that last until the wee hours are not about meetings with powerful CFOs (frankly, real businessmen are in bed by 10 p.m. and some of the best meetings are over lunch).

He is on a decline that YOU have no power to stop and as painful as this is, you must be strong enough to walk away. I really would like your actions to be about preserving your dignity to be as abrupt as his behavior and dismissal of you.

I'm reminded of one of my clients whose husband (after 20 years of marriage, three kids, a successful career and all the material wealth a person could want) decided to get into the party life of Las Vegas and at 50-something behaved as though he were 27. He lost his high-level job (they asked him to resign), he divorced his wife, started dating a "Booby-Bar-Girl" (those are his ex-wife's words) and became a musician. He even grew (gasp!) a ponytail (which as we gals know, looks absolutely ridiculous on anyone over 22).

She got the house, the kids, alimony AND his best friend, who had secretly loved her for years.

Since you asked, my recommendation would be to either have him move out of the house, or you move out of the house. Proceed immediately with the motion for divorce and let your attorney be the pit bull on your behalf. Get everything that you deserve, even if it seems excessive right now. Your husband will not want the shame of divorce proceedings that will focus on his weaknesses. Realize that there is nothing you can do to bring back the feeling of love and devotion you thought you felt with him in the past.

I'm telling you to let him go because my cards talk about your REAL soul mate within 18 months after this relationship ends. He has dark hair and eyes, a consummate business professional and this will be the man with whom you spend the rest of your loving life.

You will always be surrounded in love, but you have to listen to the advice that you would give your best friend if she were in this exact situation: dump him…and fast.

Thank you for writing,
Mona