DO YOU LIKE Bruce Willis? I do…don't know why…just do. Of course that means my reviews of his films are suspect. This one is no different. It's typical action drek, but don't care, liked it. It is so over the top there's nothing but cool action, cool characters and cool (read cold) bad guys who have nothing at all, whatsoever, never will and aren't into today's too hot to touch terrorist issues. Why did the filmmakers avoid terrorists, beyond the obvious touchiness of the issues? How about transcending the calendar, and staying as far away as possible from the whole subject of current events. Then you're left with blowing things up, comic book style, and nobody cares.

Live Free or Die Hard is the longest cinematic rollercoaster ride you'll be on this year. Spidey was great, and I'm sure the transforming machines will knock the socks off all the special effects fans, but McClane will be the chart topper, again. Willis still has 'it.' Whatever 'it' actually is, Bruce Willis is one of a handful of the male Hollywood icons that helped define 'it.' He absolutely rocked. Everyone sitting around me was sitting forward a lot, arms flinching often, the involuntary sheilding response that we all do when something suddenly is hurtling towards us. And because we all love to act cool, these subdued reactions manifest in clenched fists, scrunching your purse or the hand holding yours, and trying not to jump too often.


History for those from other planets and/or born after 1988: John McClane was a simple New York cop in 1988, who went to LA to see his estranged wife and became a west coast baddie's worst nightmare—someone pigheaded enough not to know he was up against a brilliant villian, who had a meticulously planned out scheme, and a bunch of lethal henchmen. So McClane simply tried to stay alive, save his wife (and her co-workers) and do what he had to do, stop the bad guy—that's what cops do. Die Hard and every joke, reference and memory of Willis' McClane became legend. Yippee Ki Yay, *&@#$* ^%!@#%*. (Ignore the two sequels.) Creedence Clearwater was a very good rock 'n' roll group with kickin' music for its day. If McClane says its classic R&R, then you should just agree with him. And Kevin Smith was king of the young set's underground films.


Oh, and if you are a Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mall Rats, Dogma, etc. ) fan, which I am, a lot, then the fix is in when we find him, finally, in Act 2. I just had to laugh…out loud. So, if you remember his films of the mid '90s, then you're going to love watching Smith with Willis. Smith personified this character, fitting well into the action, and loving it. It's so obvious everyone was having fun, this is a comedy, pure and simple…just another comic book action blockbuster. Live Free or Die Hard will be remembered as the quintessential turn of the twenty-first century action adventure thriller with a comedic twist—all in good fun—you know?


OK, the history lesson's over. Jump twenty years to today. McClane's still a cop, he's divorced from the woman whose life he saved in '88. His daughter, Lucy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is all growed up and sassing him, and using her mother's maiden name, Gennero, because she is mad at Daddy. She's just fed up with him acting like a cop and keeping an eye on her, even yet, at college. He's just being a Dad, she's just being a pain in the #&@.

Daddy gets a call and turns back into a cop. Someone up the police ladder is calling in a favor. McClane is to pick up this young computer geek and bringing him in for questioning. In Washington, DC. Yup.


All aboard the thrill ride…the Die Hard rollercoaster car is ratcheting up, taking us up to the top in an impossible-to-escape ambush of this kid, Matt Farrell, who is brilliantly portrayed by Justin Long. This 29-year-old going on 25 doll baby has come a long way from Galaxy Quest (don't even look like you don't know). He has accumulated enough moxie to hold his own in this role opposite Willis. The chemistry is premium. You would swear they've co-starred on some other film, they're so perfect together. Long hopefully should get some 'face' roles now.


Anyway, they get away for about two minutes before the technology, being what it is today, catches them on camera. That is where McClane and Farrell must spend the rest of the movie, roaring through scene after action-packed scene of hide and seek with the lethal henchmen of this film's bad guy, Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Oliphant is seriously wierd scary in this role…reminiscent of a terminator). McClane stays on the move, eluding Gabriel and Mai Lihn (Maggie Q), Gabriel's female counterpart, main squeeze, and ninja-lethal partner in crime.

McClane and Farrell get into Washington, DC before Gabriel unleashes his technological wrath on what he now perceives as a seriously doomed country. The guys must do what they gotta do, because the bad guy must be stopped. The stakes are America's wealth and strength, which Gabriel sees as badly misused. America is just a security risk waiting to happen.


Thank heavens there is one other good cop out there with some common sense, Agent Bowman (an excellent performance by Cliff Curtis). Bowman is the lifeline someone like McClane needs when he is doing his thing. Bowman doesn't get to be in the action seqences, but his contribution as the representative government good guy is nonetheless solid. Besides McClane has it handled, and his sidekick is a fast-learner.

There is no doubt Willis is still up to action films, stuntmen aside. There are so many stunts, so much action, so many drops and rolls, he must have ached every day, but he's the man to do it.

I know this sounds like whining, but there are only two female roles in this guy flick, and one of them has to die, of course, mostly because she's so deadly dangerous. If Gabriel had failed, she would have finished it, but instead she must be exposed, leaving the cocoon of stealth Gabriel has created for their mastermind terrorist attack, to perform some hacking at a facility—really, why?

I know…Yippee Ki Yay, ya'll.

Column Rating: See?
Sure, if you can watch a lot of people getting dead (bad guys) and still laugh at all the punchlines.

With Your Children?
Do what you do with PG-13 ratings—people do die in this film, as the violent destruction of helicopters means the pilot went kaplooey as well…