THIS WEEK FEATURING: Impotent Bin Laden?, Movies This Week, Celebration of the Mooncake Festival, The Pick-Up Artist, Photoshop Wrap-Up, Ugly Gossip, Uncanny Valley Theory, and more…

Name Calling—It's What We Do. White House aide Frances Fragos Townsend insulted Osama bin by calling the 9/11 mastermind "impotent." "This is about the best he can do," Townsend said of bin Laden's September 7th video message. "This is a man on a run, from a cave, who's virtually impotent other than these tapes." In appearances on two Sunday news talk shows, Townsend used the "virtually impotent" reference both times, suggesting the language was chosen with careful purpose.

Remember the masculinity slurs against Gadhafi? The CIA is reported to have instructed George Bush to mispronounce Saddam Hussein's name with an emphasis that made it sound like 'Sodom' and then later, with a new emphasis, sounding like 'Sa-damn.'

"We know that al-Qaida is still determined to attack, and we take it seriously," Townsend said. "But this tape appears to be nothing more than threats. It's propaganda on their part."

There you have it. Insult his manhood. Call his bluff. Dare him to do it again. Only this time, bigger. For my friend Patrick Boylan's analysis of bin Laden's new message, "Beware the Ides of October (Laylat Al-Qadr) and Ossama's tape," go to The Center for Strategic Analysis at www.centerforstrategicanalysis.org/seminars/Ossama%20tape.htm.

What all the commentators and experts on bin Laden and al-Qaida fail to say publicly is that the real threat is the seductive appeal of hyper-religious sanctity and martyrdom. Christian martyrs galvanized the Roman elite. Mocking and killing Christians only helped spread "The Way." It is terrifying to us that the material things we hold so dear, the new iPod cell phone, the flat screen TV and the new car, are meaningless to well-educated would-be suicide bombers. Why don't they want to collect stuff? As long as we continue to ridicule the idea of 72 virgins in Heaven (because, as we all know, it is not 72 virgins but Jesus who is waiting for us with his arms wide open), we are as vulnerable as the pagan Romans were.

Photoshop World Wrap-Up. Las Vegas 2007 was a big hit, scoring the highest attendance ever of over 3,000 attendees (and every one of them decided to attend every Photoshop Workshop "Track" I did). I would have the exact figure if there had been a Press Room with Internet access (suggestion for next year). The venue for the annual Photoshop World in Las Vegas was the monstrously big Mandalay Bay Convention Center. (Why no posted signs like at airports that say "20 minutes walk to Terminal B?") Okay, I'll say it. Mandalay Bay Convention Center needs GPS. The three days of lectures on Everything Photoshop began with a musical comedy multimedia Keynote Address that was better produced then many lounge acts on The Strip. The convention floor was packed with vendors from Adobe, Apple, Epson, Canon and many other smaller companies. There were services ranging from a company that will print your favorite photos on galley-wrapped canvas to the ever-present B & H Photo, the big NY camera discounter.

The courses were mostly aimed at Photoshop "geeks" teaching the finer points of using "Channels," "Layers" and other tech-talk only a PS fan can adore. But even this neophyte learned a thing or two in "tracks" like "How to Retouch Women's Photos," which showed why all the women in magazines look so otherworldly.

I will treasure my 6 lb. Photoshop Workbook. Next year I'm bringing a rolling cart. The 2 parties were sold out (at $100 a ticket), so I can't report if any tips were exchanged or Photoshopper "geeks" were tutored by VH1's "The Pickup Artist" Mystery. I'm not a member yet, but I understand that Photoshop World's organizer, the National Association of Photoshop Professionals (NAPP), offers secret tips to members online. The 2008 Photoshop World East Coast Conference will be in Orlando, Florida in April 2008 and the 2008 Photoshop World Las Vegas will be held in September 2008. www.photoshopworld.com

One of the most interesting products to enhance Photoshop is Strata 3D CX plug-ins. This is a 3D application that is as easy to use as Photoshop. Strata 3D CX links to Photoshop files and creates photo-real images and animations. With Strata 3D a new dimension is added for illustration, design, web-ready graphics, and animation. www.strata.com/products.asp

The Mooncake Festival. On September 15 we celebrated The Moon Festival (also called the Mooncake or Mid-Autumn festival) at Janelle and Jeff Mishlove's Summerlin home. I wore my Vietnamese traditional dress (the "ao dai") that John generously brought me in Vietnam. Every year on the fifteenth day of the eighth month of the lunar calendar, when the moon is at its maximum brightness for the entire year, the Chinese celebrate "zhong qiu jie." Children are told the story of the moon fairy living in a crystal palace, who comes out to dance on the moon's shadowed surface. To celebrate The Mooncake Festival, one dances, feasts and gazes at the moon. And eat mooncakes. A mooncake recipe is below.

The Pick-Up Artist. VH1 has a new series, The Pick-Up Artist, which debuted on August 6th. It stars a guy named "Mystery." Shouldn't he be teaching guys how to come out of the closest?

It is the standard formula reality show—can't anyone come up with another format? Please? "Mystery" and he is mesmerizing, yet creepy. No one would ever go home with him. He's weird and very feminine but he does give good advice. He hides his hair under bandannas and furry hats.

Flanked by his wingmen Matador and J Dog, "Mystery" guides eight dorky virgins on losing their "loser" status with women. The eight started out getting lessons at Pick-Up Boot Camp. In each episode, one contestant is declared the winner of a Survivor challenge and granted Survivor immunity from elimination, while one Survivor will be sent packing. At the end of the eight weeks, one winner will be named "Master Pick-Up Artist" and awarded a non-Survivor $50,000. It's VH1 and they have a smaller budget than CBS.

In one episode the guys were crying over Mystery's wisdom and how it had affected their lives. Mystery never once said, "Don't cry in public or on TV."

Movies This Week. Brief summaries of my reviews for Eastern Promises (YES), The Hunting Party (YES), The Brave One (YES) and The Game Plan (YES).

Eastern Promises. Ultra-violence, forced prostitution, and a bloody nude killing spree in a Russian steam bath. Director David Cronenberg's latest starts right off with the most realistic, horrific throat slashing with a dull knife you will ever see. You have been duly warned and every scene after that is charged with pure danger. You don't know what will happen because a character's glance might be judged wrong and out will come an ice pick.

Anna (Naomi Watts), a midwife at a London hospital, is unable to save a young pregnant girl, Tatiana, who is brought in to the hospital after collapsing at a pharmacy. The baby is saved and Anna takes the dead girl's diary to her Russian relatives. Refusing to translate the diary, Anna decides to take a photocopy to a Russian restaurant owner whose business card was in the diary.

Anna stumbles into the nasty world of the Russian mafia involving everything from selling teenage prostitutes to murder.

This is Viggo Mortensen's second film with David Cronenberg. Mortensen was dazzling in Cronenberg's "A History of Violence" and the similarities of both roles are subtle but apparent. There is a terrific changeover scene in "Violence" and there is a show-stopping nude fight scene here. Mortensen has found his Martin Scorsese in Cronenberg. Mortensen's Nikolai is dangerous with a stature and stillness that displays menace and, underneath, a lot of telegraphed emotion.

I keep waiting for someone to properly break out French actor Vincent Cassel (pictured). His strong features make Hollywood cast him in villainous roles not understanding that he has a dangerous sex appeal that has not been put to good use yet. I'm not suggesting Cassel play romantic comedies. While his role in Eastern Promises is to snivel and play the drunken, spoiled buffoon, when allowed to do his own thing, watch him sexually tease Mortensen.

"Eastern Promises" Trailer [02:23]

The Hunting Party. A Wild Hog dumps the motorcycle and goes hunting for a war criminal. Somewhat based on parts of a true story, "The Hunting Party" is a film about a war criminal hiding out in Bosnia and the three would-be bounty hunters who want to snatch him.

Simon Hunt (Richard Gere) was a network star war correspondent with his photographer sidekick Duck (Terence Howard). They are war junkies. As long as they don't have to carry a gun, and they are accessorized with a microphone and a film camera, they have a free reign running around covering bloodshed and mayhem. It's life in the fast lane with no road rules.

According to Hunt, covering a war is living life to the fullest. Duck's memories of their adventures together show smoking herb, sex parties, drinking, and running from explosions. With multiple awards, a network paycheck and a per diem, where's the downside?

It's been five years since the war ended in Bosnia and newly arrived to cover the peace in the country is the network anchor, Duck, and a recent Harvard graduate and son of a network executive, Benjamin (Jesse Eisenberg).

Hunt tells Duck he has a contact who knows the whereabouts of a notorious Serbian war criminal, nicknamed "The Fox." Hunt wants to get an exclusive interview with The Fox and needs Duck to come along and film it. Duck, longing for another exciting adventure with the devil-may-care Hunt, finds the challenge too seductive to turn down. Benjamin begs to go along as he needs to impress his father.

What makes The Hunting Party enjoyable—though chasing war criminals should not be taken as comedy—is that this middle-aged character is still preening as an adventurer, has a lust for life and revenge, and can talk his way out of anything.

"The Hunting Party" Trailer [02:30]

The Brave One. Jodie Foster creates a symphony of raw emotions. A huge crowd pleaser. New York radio show host Erica Bain (Jodie Foster) is preparing to marry her fiancé. While walking their dog one evening in a park, they are viciously attacked and filmed by a group of thugs. Her fiancé dies and Erica spends weeks recovering in the hospital.

Erica cannot come to terms with what has happened and it has left her emotionally crippled. The city she once loved now frightens her. Wisely, Erica purchases an illegal gun for protection. As it happens, Erica is in a grocery store when a woman rushes it and is killed by her husband. When the killer realizes someone else is in the store, Erica takes out her gun and kills him. Police Detective Sean Mercer (Terrence Howard) arrives at the scene and assesses what happened. When two troublemakers menace Erica on the subway, she shoots them. Now, she is committed. The old Erica is gone for good.

As a revenge story it is well done and when the people start shouting at the screen, you know the audience is emotionally involved. It is Jodie Foster who takes the material and heightens it with a deeply moving performance. Her face expresses the wordless suffering Erica is experiencing. The chemistry between Foster and Howard is strong as Howard convincingly straddles his attraction to Erica, his conflicted admiration for her, and his own moral code as a cop.

"The Brave One" Trailer [02:28]

Camille Paglia on Senator Larry Craig's Toilet Escapade. "The sleaziness is a turn-on, probably inflamed by the hyper-distillation of testosterone smells. A hormonal factor has been theorized in outbreaks of violence among lager-swilling British soccer fans, who are packed in like sardines in the seatless stands and who freely piss in place."

A New Fuel Source? An Erie cancer researcher has found a way to burn salt water, a novel invention that is being touted by one chemist as the "most remarkable" water science discovery in a century. John Kanzius made the discovery accidentally when he tried to desalinate seawater with a radio-frequency generator he developed to treat cancer. The discovery suggests that salt water, the most abundant resource on earth, could be used as a fuel.

Why should I mention this in TDH? Because Rustum Roy, Founding Director, Materials Research Laboratory at The Pennsylvania State University, is a highly interesting friend of mine. Rustum has held demonstrations at his State College lab to confirm his own observations. The discovery is "the most remarkable in water science in 100 years," Roy said. (Photo of my friends from left, Rustum Roy, Stephan Schwartz, and Dean Radin taken from www.paraview.com/publicity-and-seminars.htm.)

Gossip! The Ugly Continues in the Larry Birkhead-Howard K. Stern Saga. It's getting ugly and, if these two intend to go through with their threats to sue Rita Crosby over her book "Blonde Ambition," they will have to get over a lot of nasty hurdles. The New York Daily News' Rush & Molloy column says, in part, that a decorated former deputy with the L.A. Sheriff's Dept., Mark Speer, who worked as a bodyguard for Larry Birkhead, the father of the late Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn, is now coming forward with damning allegations. According to Rush & Molloy: "When police were investigating Daniel's death, Speer says, "I was in the room when he [Larry Birkhead] gave the police a statement." He claims that Birkhead alleged to authorities that Smith's attorney Howard K. Stern "was wiring money from Anna's estate to offshore accounts and that he'd forged her signature." Birkhead also claimed he'd "watched Howard giving [Smith] drugs," Speer says.

Even more shocking is a trip Speer says he took with Birkhead on a private jet belonging to a wealthy friend of Smith's. The friend's wife "pulled out a stack of photographs," Speer recalls. "They were pictures of Anna and the baby…in a hospital bed with her son Daniel. Daniel appeared to be dead. [The friend] told me he was dead."

Uncanny Valley Theory. There is a fine line being drawn between life-like robots and cuddle-like robots. Zeno, a robot boy creation by David Hanson, is 17 inches tall and weighs 6 lbs. He is the prototype of an artificial child that someday will share our homes while other Third World Countries procreate. Robotics, Hanson believes, should be about artistic expression. But convincing people that robots should look like people instead of robots, remains a challenge that robot experts call the "uncanny valley" theory.

The "Uncanny Valley" theory posits that humans have a positive psychological reaction to robots that look somewhat like humans, but that robots made to look very realistic end up seeming grotesque instead of comforting. Humans like feeling superior and an intelligent, human-looking robot is threatening. (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)

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Mid-Autumn Moon Cake Recipe
by Yan Can Cook, Inc.

Makes 2 dozen
1 can (17-1/2 ounces) lotus seed paste
1/4 cup finely chopped walnuts

Dough
4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2-cup non-fat dried milk powder
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 eggs
1 cup sugar 1/2 cup solid shortening, melted and cooled
1 egg yolk, lightly beaten

1. Mix lotus seed paste and walnuts together in a bowl; set aside.


2. Sift flour, milk powder, baking powder, and salt together into a bowl. In large bowl of electric mixer, beat eggs on medium speed until light and lemon colored. Add sugar; beat for 10 minutes or until mixture falls in a thick ribbon. Add melted shortening; mix lightly. With a spatula, fold in flour mixture. Turn dough out on a lightly floured board; knead for 1 minute or until smooth and satiny. Divide dough in half; roll each half into a log. Cut each log into 12 equal pieces.


3. To shape each moon cake, roll a piece of dough into a ball. Roll out on a lightly floured board to make a 4-inch circle about 1/8-inch thick. Place 1 tablespoon of lotus seed paste mixture in center of dough circle. Fold in sides of dough to completely enclose filling; press edges to seal. Lightly flour inside of moon cake press with 2-1/2 inch diameter cups. Place moon cake, seam side up, in mold; flatten dough to conform to shape of mold. Bang one end of mold lightly on work surface to dislodge moon cake. Place cake on ungreased baking sheet. Repeat to shape remaining cakes. Brush tops with egg yolk.


4. Bake in a preheated 375 degree F. oven for 30 minutes or until golden brown. Transfer to a rack and let cool.

Recipe Copyright Yan Can Cook, Inc. 1991.