They Can Screw Up A Free Lunch

By Myron Kowitz

They can screw up a Free Lunch

Dinner or Brunch

Anything to Munch

Even a drink of Punch.

I refer to the Food Police

Monitoring my Food, Piece by Piece

No more food cooked in Grease

Making sure I don't get Obese

Caloric intact must Decrease.

I know they mean Well

But I must bid them Farewell.

I love a good steak

And a milk shake

I'd eat my own arm, no mistaken

If I could wrap it in bacon

What else I think

Is that gravy should be a drink

My favorite word to utter

Is 'butter'

I could eat a sandwich with butter while on the road

Eat it with crackers while on the commode.

BLT heavy on the mayo dressing

There's no point in repressing.

It would be a mistake

My taste buds would ache

If I didn't mention my favorite cake

Sara Lee Cream Cheese

By now I must have some disease

A clogged artery, valve or vein

How much fat do I retain

And yet, I remain

Rather svelte and slender.

Hey Bartender!