Victoria Alexander
February 8, 2008

 
     
 
     
 

 

Tom Cruise and Jerry O’Connell’s videos, Movies This Week, “Penelope”, Mega Bubble Show at Planet Hollywood, What’s In A Name?,

Kidnapper Madonna, and more

 

 

Tom Cruise and Jerry O’Connell’s videos.

If you haven’t seen Jerry O’Connell’s hilarious,

genius, and brilliant spot-on spoof of Tom Cruise’s Scientology Video (Cruise says, among many things, “We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions… we can rehabilitate criminals.”)

 

 

 

 

Tom Cruise Scientology:

 

 

 

Jerry O’Connell:

 

 

 


 

Movies This Week

 

George A. Romero’s Dairy of the Dead (NO)

 

 

 


 

Fool’s Gold (FLUFF)

 

 

 


 

The Eye (YES)

 

 

 


 

Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show (YES)

 

 

 


 

Penelope (YES)

 

 

 


 

In Bruges (YES)

 

 See online - Adult content

 


 

 

Penelope. “Penelope” puts to rest the adage “Only a face a mother could love” because beauty trumps everything. You are only ugly if you are poor and a nobody. Remember old man Aristotle Onassis? He brought a wife who was the most famous woman in the world. (Jacqueline Kennedy’s friend Eileen Slocum said: “He resembles a frog.”) What about morbidly obese (and lady’s man) Mexican artist Diego Rivera? Christina Onassis brought all her husbands, as did plain-faced heiresses Barbara Hutton and Doris Duke.

Why do I bring up these dead people? Because Penelope (Christina Ricci) is a wealthy aristocrat who lives in a fairy tale palace doted on by her parents and servants. They indulge every whim since they have never allowed Penelope to go outside. Her parents consider her a monster since she is the product of a family curse. She has a pig’s nose and ears. Any mother would have said, “Penelope, I love your nose. And look on the bright side. You’re not fat.”

In the real world, appropriate suitors would be pounding at Penelope’s door since one kiss and an “I Do” is said to lift the curse. If it doesn’t work, there is always the guaranteed inheritance.

Her parents raised Penelope like Lord Siddhartha. He fled the gilded cage and we all know what happened afterwards.

Penelope’s mother Jessica (Catherine O’Hara) is the real villain of this piece. Hey! She is not to blame but is disgraced and shamed of her only child. She constantly humiliates her daughter and insists on a parade of socially acceptable men (only one of her own kind can lift the curse) to meet Penelope. One look at Penelope and they jump out of a seven-story window!   

 

Remember when E.T. went out on Halloween? Couldn’t Penelope have worn a burqa or niqab like a million other women?

 

Did you ever see the Old Masters painting of Italian cardinals? They were proud of their prominent, crooked noses!

 

Because of the media assault on the family, Jessica decided to fake Penelope’s death. Penelope was hidden away in splendid isolation but hunted after by a midget journalist who doesn’t feel any sympathy for Penelope. When a broke aristocrat, cracks up at the sight of Penelope, he teams up with the journalist to expose the pig-faced girl. They find another penniless aristocrat, Max (McAvoy), to get a suitor “audition” and surreptitiously take a photo of Penelope. Max is a degenerate gambler who likes to lose. He gambled away his fortune so he must have daddy-mommy issues. He really wanted to be a musician but wound up as a lousy poker player instead.


The constant shame Penelope faces from her mother and the suitors leads Penelope to put a scarf over the bottom half of her face and venture outside!

 

WOW! The sky is blue and the world is filled with people who pass her right by!

This semi-charming tale, if only the mother-daughter relationship had been re-figured, is wonderful to look at and, yes, I did shed a tear. You will also.

 

It’s all because of James McAvoy. So this is why he is being hailed as a likely Sexiest Man Alive! His previous film roles – and I’m even counting “Atonement” – have not done him justice. He is very sexy, charming, and downright fabulous here. Director Mark Palansky should be given credit for giving the movie audience the McAvoy we have been told about. The production is so wonderful you want to say, ‘Penelope, you are better off at home in your colorfully-built dollhouse. Take your father’s advice and get a puppy to love.”

 

Except for the horrible mother, “Penelope” does send a heart-warming message to young girls, though it is a fantasy no girl over 5 years old would go along with. Stores are selling bras for toddlers and by the time a girl is 5, she’s on a diet and saving up for Botox.

 


 

Mega Bubble Show. Multi-Guinness Book World Record holder Fan Yang held

a Grand Opening VIP Night for a new show, "Mega Bubble Show", in Las Vegas at the Steve Wyrick Theatre in the Miracle Mile Shops on February 8th. The updated version of the Gazillion Bubble Show is all about bubbles.

 

  

Tickets for The Mega Bubble Show can be ordered by visiting www.SteveWyrickTheatre.com or by calling 702-777-9974. Running time is 70 minutes with no intermission.

 


What’s In A Name? This naming game has been bothering me. Comets are named after their discoverers (see Shoemaker-Levy Comet). Two independent observers, Alan Hale and Thomas Bopp, were jointly recognized for discovering the ancient comet at the same time! While Hale had spent four hundred plus hours searching for comets without finding one, Bopp didn’t even own a telescope!

Hale must have been furious but, since billing is always fought over, he got top billing on the comet.

Bopp was out with friends near Stanfield, Arizona observing star clusters and galaxies when he chanced across the comet while at the eyepiece of his friend's telescope. He realized he might have spotted something new and contacted the Central Bureau of Astronomical Telegrams via telegram. Comets are traditionally seen as a bad omen. As Comet Hale-Bopp reached its brightest point, Bopp's brother and sister-in-law were killed in a car accident after photographing the comet. "This has been the best week of my life. And the worst," he said.

Barnard's Star was named in honor of Edward Emerson Bernard (1857-1923), its discoverer. This red dwarf star has several claims to fame. It is currently the second closest star to the Sun at 5.96 light years.

 

Then there’s the naming of diseases and cures after the discovers, such as the Salk Vaccine. However, the best why to get something named after you is to think up a mathematical riddle. You don’t need to solve it, just pose it. There are lots of “conjectures”: The Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer Conjecture, the Hodge Conjecture, and the Poincaré Conjecture. Offer up a hypothesis and they name it after you - The Riemann Hypothesis. Let’s not leave out a theory - The Yang-Mills Theory.

 


 

 

Cultural Imperialism. So why is the collection of thirteen ancient codices, containing over fifty texts and discovered in Egypt in 1945, known as the Nag Hammadi Library? This immensely important discovery includes a large number of primary Gnostic scriptures including the Gospel of Thomas, the Gospel of Philip, and the Gospel of Truth.

 

Why wasn’t this discovery named after the man who found it?

The Dead Sea Scrolls, consist of roughly 900 documents, including texts from the Hebrew Bible, were discovered between 1947 and 1956 in eleven caves in and around the Wadi Qumran in the West Bank. http://www.ibiblio.org/expo/deadsea.scrolls.exhibit/Library/library.html

It is generally accepted that a Bedouin goat- or sheep-herder made the first discovery toward the beginning of 1947. In the most commonly told story a shepherd threw a rock into a cave in an attempt to drive out a missing animal under his care. The shattering sound of pottery drew him into the cave, where he found several ancient jars containing scrolls wrapped in linen.

I am on a campaign to re-name the Nag Hammadi Library collection “The Mohammed Ali Samman Codices” (no photo of the discoverer available on Google Images!) and the Dead Sea Scrolls “The Mohammed Ahmed el-Hamed Scrolls” (I hunted around and found this image, but not sure if el-Hamed is even pictured. Is that his mother who used some of the scrolls to build a fire?) www.webcom.com/gnosis/naghamm/nhl.html

The Indian renaming controversy is a result of a movement to change the names of Indian cities from the names used during the British imperial control of India back to Indian names. In 2006, the renaming of Indian cities began. The reason behind the renamings was to erase the British legacy in India. Major cities that have been renamed include Mumbai (formerly Bombay), Chennai (formerly Madras), Kolkata (formerly Calcutta), Pune (formerly Poona) and Bengaluru (formerly Bangalore).


 

Madonna Does Know What People Think of Her. New-faced Madonna (pictured with her daughter) hosted to a celebrity-studded event on the lawns of the United Nations to aid Malawi orphans, UNICEF, and to inaugurate a new Gucci store.

Madonna told the crowd: "I've earned a reputation for many things: pushing the envelope, for being a provocateur, for never taking no for an answer. For endlessly reinventing myself, for being a cult member, a kidnapper. For being ambitious, outrageous and irreverent. And for never settling for second best."

The Future. US scientists say they have produced embryos that are clones of two men, in an attempt to produce patient-specific stem cells.

Well, at least that’s what they say they are doing. But we know better.

Researchers removed DNA from donated human eggs, and replaced it with DNA from the skin cells of two volunteers. They produced embryos with genetic material that matched the men's, but did not go on to extract stem cells.

 
     
 
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