Indiana Jones and Jacques Vallee

 

I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull again. It doesn’t hold up on a second viewing. I was wondering if Steven Spielberg again turned to Jacques Vallee for inspiration.

 

As you know, my dear friend Jacques has been widely recognized and honored as the premier investigating scientist in the realm of UFO research. He was the true-life model for the scientist played by François Truffaut in the movie Close Encounters of the Third  Kind.

 

Jacques novel, Fastwalker is the story of a semi-crazy-but nevertheless inspired - character who leads researchers to a cave containing an interdimensional device that takes off destroying everything around it. It turns out UFOs are not from space after all. Universal bought the rights to Fastwalker years ago, so there will be no lawsuit.

 

The revised edition of Vallee’s Forbidden Science, Volume One is now available either through http://www.lulu.com/content/1455876 or through Amazon. Amazon still sells the old edition, so you have to ask specifically for Forbidden Science, Volume One to get to the right one. Jacques is hard at work on Forbidden Science, Volume Two.

 

Conjuring Brujos

 

Alan Shoemaker, who has organized The Fourth International Amazonian Shamanism Conference: Magic, Myths & Miracles, in Iquitos, Peru from July

19th-27th, 2008 is bringing two conjuring brujos from the Upper Amazon to the Conference. They will be holding Ceremonies as well as presenting. They have agreed to answer questions during their Presentation. If anyone chooses to be in Ceremony with both or one of them they must sign a waiver releasing the Conference, Alan and his wife from any liability. Further, these Ceremonies are only for those people with real experience. Novices will not be allowed to participate.

 

Alan describes “real experience” as “experience in the jungle with curanderos, not experience in your living room.” I have been in Ceremonies with participants with grave and obvious psychological problems, and it’s not pretty. In keeping with strict guidelines for such advanced ceremonial work with brujos, Alan requires as a pre-requisite that each participant write a synopsis of why they want to Ceremony with the conjuring brujos. I’ve already signed up.

 

http://www.soga-del-alma.org/

 

Sex and the City 

 

It’s not a fashion romp – it has a strong emotional texture. The SATC women are still making bad choices.

 

For the advance screening of SATC, I went to the Las Vegas Regal Theaters at Village Square to see over 1,000 people lined up for a promotional screening of SATC. The movie was shown in 2 theaters to accommodate the huge crowd. After a half hour wait – though fans must have been waiting on line for hours – the boring, excruciating New York City Red Carpet event was shown live. There was an on-screen countdown.

 

You’d think Jesus was walking the Red Carpet. It was a punishing half hour. Then, finally, SATC began. I don’t know if it was the projectionist’s fault but for the entire movie we saw a boom mic over the actor’s heads. We only saw half the screen, as well as the overhead white sheets. It was awful, especially since the audience kept laughing every time the microphone moved from one actress to another. It takes the magic away when you see the boom mic.

 

I have gotten a few emails from people across the U.S. who have also seen the boom mic!

 

Celebrity interviewer, Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru, go home! You beat the odds – by taking 2 kidneys – one was donated by your best friend (then failed), and then another from your mother. Sit in a deck chair and bask in the sun. Why do I know your name but I don’t know the name of your best friend who gave you his kidney?

 

I loved the HBO series and writer/director Michael Patrick King has done a terrific job of piecing together the highlights of the 6 seasons while the opening credits play.

 

More significantly, King has kept the emotional texture that made SATC such a cultural phenomenon. Yes, the clothes were fabulous, the hair styles, the sex scenes, and the quick-witted dialogue but more important it has the underlying sadness and emptiness of these women’s lives that resonated with its HBO female audience. King has kept this emotional subtext intact. 

 

For all the $750 stiletto heels they had, the real pearls, size 1 outrageous wardrobes – the SATC girlfriends were desperate women in their late 30s and we felt sorry for their very poor choices.

 

The overall sentiment of SATC is sadness. And it is intentional. Carrie and her girlfriends are supporting each other’s concept that the right way to live is in pursuit of shoes and handbags. How can Mr. Big make Carrie really, really happy? He builds her a huge closet.

 

The ladies keep making the wrong choices and in my mind, all of them, even Charlotte, will soon have to face disappointment. And then they will be 50!

 

King has written a witty script and gives each actress a lot to work with. And then there is the outdoor, full frontal shower scene of Gilles Marini. In fairness, I must applaud and make note when a director chooses to show the penis – it’s about time.

 

E.T. in Nebraska?

 

A hidden camera catches an alien peeking out of a window in Nebraska!

 

E.T. profiteer Jeff Peckman said aliens visit his friend Stan Romanke all the time. Romanke, who now lives in Colorado Springs, allegedly recorded the alien video while living in Nebraska. Peckman and Romanke, who have not taken polygraphs, have a deal with a documentary company for the rights to the video.

 

"Not all wrinkly like ET, the extraterrestrial, just youthful, smooth skin, large wide kind of eyes," said Peckman. Romanke has posted drawings of the aliens he reportedly sees on his Web site. Peckman claimed in a press conference that there is a government conspiracy to hide evidence of aliens. One group of aliens have defied their treaty with the U.S. and are visiting Romanke.

 

You Don’t Mess With The Zohan

 

Adam Sandler’s new movie opens today. Finally, a funny Sandler movie. It’s his franchise. He’s sexy too! But why all the Mel Gibson slams?

 

It’s rather unlikely to say Adam Sandler has found his cinematic niche but Zohan is sexy, has raunchy sex with elderly women (and enjoys it!), is a Kung Fu magical Israeli commando, and has six-pack abs and firm buttocks. What’s not to like?

 

Keeping with the extreme vulgarity that is now so popular, though we never see Zohan’s penis (they are saving that for the unrated DVD), it starts off with Zohan pulling two things out of his anus. I saw something similar in Bangkok, but I save that story for cocktail parties.

 

That’s the nod to the homosexual dread factor of the teenage boys in the audience.

 

Zohan (Sandler) is Israel’s weapon of mass destruction but he wants to be a hairdresser. Fed up with killing, Zohan stages his own death in a slap-off with his uber- nemesis, an Arab called Phantom (John Turturro)

 

Zohan gives himself a 1982 make-over courtesy of the Paul Mitchell style book he secretly prizes as a talisman. He sneaks in to New York City and boldly goes to Paul Mitchell’s salon. Striking out, he finds himself in the Jewish-Arab ghetto of the city where his Jewish buddies have re-located selling questionable electronic equipment alongside Arabs who drive all the taxis in New York.

 

Zohan defends wimpy Michael (Nick Swardson) caught up in a knife fight and goes to stay with Michael and his mother Gail (Lanie Kazan). He likes Gail a lot. He doesn’t notice she is obese. He thinks she’s hot. He finds a salon run by Arab Dalia (Emmanuelle Chirqui) who lets him clean up but not cut hair.

 

Dalia has her own problems. A real estate millionaire thug wants to buy up the neighbor, level it and erect a mall.

 

When Dalia must reluctantly give him a chance, Zohan happily gives the elderly ladies a big sex perk that makes him a hair styling star. The ladies are lining up. But Zohan can’t hide his past, especially when a Palestinian cabdriver, Salim (Rob Schneider), recognizes him and seeks revenge.

 

Phantom, having “killed” Zohan, is treated like a king and starts a chain of fast food joints. When he finds out he was duped, he turns up in New York to settle accounts.

 

I absolutely loved that Zohan is madly attracted to old women – there is not even a wink to us about this. Zohan is truly a lover of women. Sandler looks great too.

 

“Zohan” is not meant for the “Atonement” ticket buying public. Sandler and his co-writers, Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow, do something astonishing. They give Schneider

(pictured) a role he is finally decent in. It has taken 20 years, but Schneider’s rabid devotion (what else could it be? Blackmail?) to Sandler has paid off. Is it fair that Schneider has a champion like Adam Sandler in love with him?

 

The aforementioned writers do not side-step the Jewish-Arab conflict but make a good point: the majority of Jews and Arabs have political opinions, but when push comes to shove, it’s about living as best one can.

 

That said, why all the Mel Gibson jokes? Did he vote to keep Sandler out of Melibu?