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1. Her face
was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently
compressed by a Thigh Master. |
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2. His
thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. |
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3. He spoke
with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy
who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the
country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at
a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. |
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4. She grew
on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef. |
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5. She had a
deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just
before it throws up. |
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6. Her
vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. |
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7. He was as
tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. |
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8. The
revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine. |
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9. The little
boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
ball wouldn't. |
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10. McBride
fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup. |
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11. From the
attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city
and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. |
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12. Her hair
glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. |
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13. The
hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease. |
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14. Long
separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.
traveling at
55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. |
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15. They
lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. |
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16. John and
Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
never met. |
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17. He fell
for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East
River. |
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18. Even in
his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one
that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. |
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19. Shots
rang out, as shots are known to do. |
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20. The plan
was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this
plan just might work. |
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21. The young
fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for
awhile. |
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22. He was as
lame as a duck------not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but
a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a
land mine or something. |
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23. The
ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. |
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24. It was
an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
power tools. |
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25. He was
deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if
she were a garbage truck backing up." |
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