As
I forged through winter with little or no work on land I was grateful for the
work on ships that seemed to be coming in steadily. Normally, I would have
complained about the travel, the hotels, the drag of getting on and off ships in
various cities in the Caribbean and around the world. I had traveled 16 hours
from Grand Cayman to be home on Christmas Eve and made it with 2 hours to spare
before midnight.
It made me so happy to be
home with my family and to have a tan to boot!
This wasn’t all so bad I
thought to myself. Many entertainers I know are simply packing it in, losing
their homes and going without work for months. As I said in an interview
recently, “it ain’t a bad way to spend a recession.
During
this time of travel to Spain, Italy, South America, The Caribbean, Bermuda and
other places that I am not sure how to spell, I have had time to search for what
made me happy in the beginning of my adult life and of my career. I had not been
true to myself by trying to fit into what people wanted and worse, what they
“expected”.
I was to be unique, a rebel
or at the very least something different than the lot.
I began to see that in my
quest to be accepted into the machine, I had become just another cog in just one
of the wheels that drove it. I had become unremarkable and no different from the
rest. I was simply not achieving what I had set out to do, which was to make my
mark on the world and to leave a message carved into the tree of life, “Stephen
was here.
I sat back one day and
realized that I had a bunch of things on my plate and that I was very busy…with
what was my question. In an attempt to become “important” to the world around
me, I had entrenched myself in community service.
Was I a good neighbor and
resident or was I trying to be important in my own little slice of the world?
Can anyone truly be important to more than a select few?
It is now 2009 and I looked
into the mirror and wondered how I had become the publicity chairman for a Las
Vegas holiday festival, a board member on the architectural review committee, a
member of the landscape committee and even the Commodore of the Las Vegas Yacht
Club. Committee….or committed?
In an effort to feel like I
was important I had lengthened my resume but had only clouded the picture. I
remember thinking that I was on this planet to create something unique and
different. Can I create anything as a board member of the yadda yadda club???
Being on the road (or the
water…the new road) had solved this question. I was unable to go to meetings and
take part in the day to day operation of clubs that really don’t make a hell of
a difference in the world. I began to think creative thoughts again; music was
reintroduced into my head in February. Random and yet-to be composed melodies
had moved back in after a 20 year hiatus! Ideas for shows, costumes, lighting
effects, staging, songs, comedy bits, TV show ideas and more flooded in.
When you remove the clutter
in your mind, there lies the space to bring in creative thought and inspiration.
I remember a TV director in
New York telling me to get to the west coast and get on TV.
It was my first national
commercial and I happened to be getting on a plane after the shoot to where was
to become my new home in Las Vegas.
I thought about how much fun
TV had been for me. From “America’s Most Wanted” to “Hollywood Squares”, it
always felt like home. Why was I not doing television now?
I believe that in my mental
clutter I had stopped seeing myself in those situations and had lost faith in
myself, therefore building a wall of boards and committee blocks around me to
make up for the loss. There was no loss, just an ending to my belief that I was
good enough, funny enough and talented enough to be interesting to TV viewers.
OK,
that’s it!! A TV game show on the Las Vegas strip, using what and who I know!!
It must contain questions on
what I find interesting which is Hollywood and music must be unique. I have a
built-in unique take on show business by being in the celebrity impersonator
world. It must be fun. I’m fun and love improv so we’ll keep it fresh and off
the cuff. I know some celebrity types that are recognizable like Robin Leach and
Marty Allen. They’d be great as guest stars. I can wind it all up in my head and
create something fresh and fun!!! So I did.
Now the hard part…getting
over the bumpy road called Doubt. This I believe had been the path that I had
taken in years past that would almost always break down my vehicle to success
and inevitably cause me to abandon the trip and call AAA.
Not this time. The road of
resentment that I had left behind me was the rockiest of all.
My lack of faith and missed
opportunities left the biggest boulders.
My wish was to look back from
atop a hill and see the road that I had traveled remaining intact and
triumphant.
I gathered the best people
for the job all on speculation of success and wrote, planned and scheduled 2
episodes to be taped on May 12th.
I tried not to be discouraged
by people that I wanted but could not commit or who did not communicate well. I
thought that maybe this was the way fate moved you along to the people that
would ultimately be best for the job.
There was no bad experience
here, just a simple push of the breeze toward the fields of success. It
ultimately fell into place with the best of the best.
Stay tuned. Let’s see what
the wind blows our way on May 12th at the Goldcoast Casino.
I have faith, for I am moving
at the very least, forward.
