Lord of the Dance at PH, Bruno Is A Hit, Locked Up Abroad Summer Shows, Audition News for Matt Gross show, UFOs in Ecuador?, and more… 

Reason is emotion for the sexless.

"Heathcote Williams Poet Heathcote Williams is best known for writing the great anthem to sexual jealousy, and one of my favorite songs, Why D'Ya Do It?, for Marianne Faithfull's classic 979 album Broken English. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH6bAMKA5fU

Marianne Faithfull is best known for being Mick Jagger's girlfriend. However, her best memories are reserved for fellow Rolling Stone Keith Richards. She writes in her autobiography "Faithfull" (written with David Dalton): "It was a wonderful night of sex. My night with Keith was the best night I've ever had in my life, as a matter of fact." However, the next morning Keith encouraged Marianne to call Mick, since he had a major crush on her. Marianne states several times that Mick was bisexual and he had an unrequited sexual obsession for Keith Richards. 

Movie This Week. Bruno.

Shock and awesome. We are co-conspirators with Bruno when we know where he's headed. Let's keep Borat out of this.

Bruno (Sacha Baron Cohen) is an out-there-and-back Austrian fashion guru who flaunts his gay attitude and lifestyle. He wants to be the most famous Austrian in history, outranking Adolph Hitler. After his fashion show is cancelled and he is thrown out of Austria, Bruno decides to go to Los Angeles to become world famous.

Bruno takes his assistant Lutz (Gustaf Hammarsten) with him. Bruno's calling card is his gay persona but he is oblivious to the fact that Americans want their gay celebrities and movie stars to be on the down-low. No matter how far we think we have come as a free, live-and-let-live society, we still want every gay male star to present himself just the way Rock Hudson did. Everyone wanted to believe Liberace was always looking for the right girl to replace his sainted mother.

Let's review: Michael Jackson married twice only to make us happy.

It might scare the horses but anal bleaching, Brazilian waxes for both sexes, swingers clubs, and dildos are facts. (I cannot pass up the opportunity to also include in this list auto-erotic asphyxiation.) So are ministers who want to counsel gays to change through prayer and trailer park people who go on talk shows for a trip to the hairdressers and free Target clothes. There is extra cash for (a) fighting and (b) showing breasts (if the women are obese the bonus rate is higher).

If you have a bizarre sex story and are missing front teeth, you are guaranteed a spot on The Jerry Springer Show. So why wouldn't Bruno turn up with his black baby? Bruno has a lot of catching up to do. Trend-setter Madonna already has two. (Baron Cohen has called Madonna a "transsexual child catcher.")  And what is wrong with naming a baby after O.J.? He got off scot-free for slicing up two people! Cohen is the creator of a new comedy genre. He will probably be the master of this genre as few will have the nerve to follow his lead. Yet, there is nothing shown in "Bruno" that does not take place in society. He's just made it offensive. He's telling the truth and if you don't like it, there is always Saudi Arabia's solution, the powerful religious police, The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice. The scene with a psychic, as Bruno attempts to contact his dead lover, is priceless but not original. We saw Demi Moore do that in "Ghost"! The "wide public bathroom stance" and "foot tapping" of Larry Craig educated many of us. There is no need to disguise or hide this kind of widely practiced behavior. It's out there and called "cottaging". Gay websites even have a state-by-state listing of the best public bathrooms for cottaging. Apparently, the one Craig used was ranked very high on the list! Baron Cohen's purpose is to ridicule our racist attitudes towards people we feel are poor, backward and uneducated (Borat) or gay (Bruno). He is merely presenting it to us in its most exaggerated and outrageous form. Baron Cohen's mockery would have been hailed by Oscar Wilde as brilliant. Bruno suddenly comes to the realization that he needs to become (or appear to be) straight in order to achieve world famous status. He goes to a minister, a swinger's club, and spends time learning how to kill small, defenseless animals with real men.

Here is the essential Baron Cohen oeuvre. We know that Bruno will eventually do something that not only shocks the outdoorsmen, but will make them mad. We are in on it. We are Bruno's co-conspirators. So we are ready when Bruno wants to spend time with one of the men in his tent.

Director Larry David understands Bruno and his genius is knowing when to keep the camera running.

Baron Cohen might be preparing to marry his baby-momma (Isla Fisher) but he really takes to the gay stuff with a zeal I approve of. He likes being naked and posing. It must be a gift. And, the dominatrix encounter. I'd say it was not his first time at the rodeo.

Baron Cohen's skill is his total emersion in his roles. There is no winking in his characterization as Bruno. He's committed to his craft just like Robert De Niro when he played Jake La Motta and Fearless Leader.           

Auditions Notice.

On Wednesday, July 15th, Palms Casino Resort, international singing sensation Matt Goss, and Pussycat Dolls creator Robin Antin host auditions for new production "Matt Goss Live From Las Vegas". Matt Goss, known to his fans as "The Voice," will headline a new production is created exclusively for his limited-time residency at the legendary Palms Casino Resort. Goss' show will offer a dynamic blend of musical talent. Backed by a seven-piece band and sexy female dancers, Goss, who has sold more than 17 million albums worldwide in his career, will entertain guests with a production featuring a mix of his hits, songs from his new album and popular covers. 

The show runs every Friday and Saturday beginning September 4, 2009, inside the resort's ancillary entertainment venue, The Lounge. Tickets are $25 plus any fees or taxes, and available for purchase at box office. 

Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance Returns.

On June 25 (and through to August 16), Michael Flatley's hugely successful Lord of the Dance returned to Las Vegas for a Special Limited Engagement dancing into Steve Wyrick Theatre at Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood. Along with several friends, I saw a performance on Saturday night. 

Instead of seeing LOTD in an arena, here is the opportunity to have an intimate experience with the dancers. You could see the floor vibrate and shake. The dancing is terrific and so is the music. If you have seen Flatley perform (and consider yourself a "Flathead"), here is an opportunity to relive the vibrancy of the Celtic dance.

Based on Irish folklore, the tale follows Little Spirit as she travels back in time to help the Lord of the Dance protect his people from Don Dorcha, the Dark Lord.

Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance, the international Irish dancing phenomenon, performed 2,000 shows during its five and a half year residency on the Las Vegas Strip that ended in April 2004. The troupe features Irish dance champions from around the world. Reserved ticket seating are $59, $73, and $114 for VIP circle, plus tax and applicable service fees. To purchase, call 702.777.9974 or 1.800.210.0745. Show times are 7 p.m., Tuesday-Thursday; 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. Fridays; 4 p.m. and 7 p.m., Saturdays, and 4 p.m. Sundays. The show is dark Monday. Locked Up Abroad. This is one of my favorite shows and keeps me traveling with luggage free of contraband. Locked Up Abroad: the Summer Season starts on Wednesday, July 15 at 10 PM (ET/PT). The new season begins with Iraq.

In September 2004, war reporter Scott Taylor and Turkish journalist Zeynep Tugrul head for the northern Iraqi town of Tall 'Afar and are accused of being spies, apprehended, blindfolded and interrogated. Scott is forced to play a game of "knife or life," with each answer determining if he lives until the next question. 

Locked Up Abroad:

BARBADOS (July 22, 2009). Nineteen-year-old Zara was a struggling single mother who was offered an easy way out of her financial troubles: bring drugs back from Barbados after an all-expense-paid holiday. Locked Up Abroad:

BETRAYED IN ECUADOR (July 29, 2009).

In 2003, Zoe's life is ruined when she is tricked by a young man who begs her to come to Ecuador to help him. In Ecuador he takes Zoe shopping and buys her a suitcase for all her gifts. What she doesn't know is that the suitcase is full of cocaine. (pictured)

Locked Up Abroad: SIERRA LEONE (August 5, 2009).

In May 2000, Major Phil Ashby, a Royal Marine, travels to Sierra Leone with the United Nation and is kidnapped. Defenseless, starving and dehydrated, Ashby decides his only chance for survival is to make a daring escape through the jungle.

Locked Up Abroad: JAMAICA (August 12, 2009).

TK and her girlfriend are offered a vacation to Jamaica and $5,000 in return for bringing back marijuana. Locked Up Abroad: INDIA (August 19, 2009). Clare Matthews quits her job and decides to travel to India.  But when money gets tight, she gambles for a quick payout: sending hash illegally to London via parcel.

UFOS in Ecuador?

Since we leave for Ecuador in a few weeks, I asked my friend George Filer of Filer's Files if there were any reports of UFOs in Ecuador. Sadly, George said there were not many reports of sightings and not one investigator is listed in the UFO directory of field researchers. So there is an ET Embargo in place for Ecuador! Or, the territory is wide open if you are interested in becoming a UFO investigator. According to George's Filer Files #27, there is evidence of Ancient Astronauts in South American museums. The National Museum of the Archaeology, Anthropology, and History in Lima, Peru has displays of ancient skulls that show evidence of brain surgery on beings with exceptionally large craniums.

The museum claims the skulls are deformities, but these alleged deformities exist in an exclusive group of beings who were the leaders, pharaohs, kings, priests, and rulers all over the ancient world. The Andean people claim these were the gods who came from outer space and taught them advanced knowledge of medicine, biology, astronomy and advanced construction techniques. Author David Hatcher Childress describes this race of beings who lived on Earth that had unusually large and elongated skulls as 'coneheads' rather than the scientific name of Dolichocephaloids.

Are these the craniums evidence of colonization from another planet? Many of the ancient leaders in Peru and Bolivia have exceptionally large heads, and were able to withstand low temperatures and high altitude in the Andes.

The Old Testament states: "That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose". Genesis 6.