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I Eat, Therefore I Am
A
ll glory is fleeting.” Quote attributed to General George Patton spoke by George C. Scott at the end of the movie Patton. Said to be a translation of the Latin “Sic transit gloria mundi,” meaning, “Thus passes the glory of the world.”
“You’re riding high in April, shot down in May.” From the Frank Sinatra song “That’s Life.”
“In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” The classic 1968 quote from Andy Warhol.
 Why am I giving you all this crap? Check out the bottom story in the June 4, 2010 Brooklyn Paper. My glory is fleeting; I’ve been shot down in June. Nathan’s Famous removed all the past Hot Dog eating champions from the “Wall of Fame” and replaced them with the new generation of eaters. My 15 minutes of fame is officially over. Luckily I live in Las Vegas, home of the 2 for 1 coupon; I managed to strength this thing out for 12 years instead of just 15 minutes.
Gersh Kuntzman writer for The Brooklyn Paper and a long-time supporter of the sport wrote about the pain of seeing the old Wall of Fame come down and the merits of the new wall. In addition, he spoke about the contributions of the veteran eaters being replaced and said something very nice about me.
“Legendary Las Vegas Lothario Cary DeGrosa competed in a Hefner-esque bathrobe and gave the game its most-lasting legacy: the Bunnettes, a group of red, white and blue-clad groupies who became delicious figures on the circuit.”
 I’m sorry, but the new wall of fame has none of the warm joyful feelings of the old wall. Everyone looks angry on the new wall, instead of a 4th of July celebration, it looks like a war.
 I did not speak about this change with my good buddy “The Frankster,” Nathan’s long-time loved, and well respected mascot. We shared many happy hours together, and Nathan’s replaced him too. The new Frankster is not as good looking, cute or charming as my dear friend. I only hope my buddy is not in some dark alley drowning his sorrow in a case of mustard.
Needless to say, I’m devastated, eating and breathing are two of my many reasons for living. As a Hot Dog Eater I never cured any of the world’s problems, but I gave and received much happiness. I am grateful to so many wonderful people that helped me, it was all fun.
Thank You to George & Richard Shea for making all the good times and laughs possible. And thanks to Marleen Marino, she gave me the opportunity to write this column for the last five years.
Life unfolds so unexpectedly; I can’t count the many good things I experienced because of a Hot Dog. For any of us, a simple turn of events can be life changing. What did Hunter Thomson write? “You paid the ticket, so take the ride.” I may have hung up my Buns, but I will never hang up my Wiener!
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