THE MONTEREY WINE County Growers Association invited me to the RM Restaurant in the Mandalay Bay for a wine tasting and a food orgy. I'm new at covering these events, it's not that I'm new at eating and drinking free; I'm just new at finding something to say about it?

The premise for the event was to introduce Monterey County Wine to local restaurants and the public. The Monterey growers were very generous; there was plenty of tasty wine. This idea was to convince restaurants to stock these $10 to $15 wines and sell them for $40 or $50 since they had Monterey in their name.

After participating in a few of these events, my sport jacket seems to be shrinking. The ultra-modern RM Restaurant had courteous employees and they served wonderful food. The usual suspects showed up, and they look like they all had one free meal too many. Food attracts flies and people, so the only young, trim, good-looking people were working for the show, and the RM restaurant. They were the only people in good shape, running around serving all of us.

I tried to strike up a conversion with a couple veterans of these events, two women who had already attended three shows today. They were on mission, get to the last show of the day, this one had free gifts. No time for me, these women were pirates looking for more nosh, and booty. I'm always looking for booty too, but in all the wrong places.

As a refugee of the Disco Era, I am still on the lookout for social connections, fun people. This should be the place, the wine and food are free, beautiful surroundings, but no one is interested in small talk, unless they're on a cell phone. If you are not buying or selling something, forget about it. Maybe it's my age, or the times we live in, but banter between strangers is a lost art. So am I bitching? Not at all, I want another assignment, with more food and maybe this time some booty.