Perfectionism according to Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary, comes from the root word perfect. Perfectionism is the doctrine that perfection of moral character constitutes a person’s highest good.

The question is this; is there anything wrong with being too good? Think about that for a moment. Can a person be too good? Striving to perfect oneself or craft can be a healthy, admiral and satisfying venture. Who doesn’t want to do a good job? What isn’t healthy is a constant anxiety and/or fear about making a mistake or blunder.

If your standards are impossibly high, if you are constantly trying to be the best, to improve what you’re doing, to be superior to those around you; you might have a problem. You might have fallen into the trap of perfectionism. Let me clarify this; it’s one thing to pursue excellence and another to chase the impossible dream of perfectionism; and it doesn’t matter if it involves your career or you as an individual.

From my research and personal experience, I have found that people, who try to be absolutely perfect, fail. Yes, you will attract and become a magnet for the very thing that you are trying to avoid. For example, I recall my own encounter with the subject of perfectionism. It smacked me in the face a few years ago as I lamented to a friend about my inability to handle a personal weakness. She looked at me in amazement, smiled and said, “Amie Jo, no one is perfect.” The look on her face was one of disbelief as if she couldn’t believe I was serious. It was difficult for her to understand why I had such unrealistic expectations for myself. I continued to defend my position and explain that I understood no one was perfect. I went onto add that I was still not satisfied with myself and the way I had handled a situation I clearly felt I could have avoided.

As she walked away, she smiled again and gave me some very sage advice; “Don’t be so hard on yourself, no one is perfect.” At that very moment I realized that I wasn’t allowing any room for my own human imperfection and in this case, I had been miserably beating myself unnecessarily up for an error in judgment. She was right; no one is perfect. Even God does not require us to be perfect. “He himself well knows the formation of us, remembering that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:14).

I discovered my personal standards were so high they were crippling me. When I reflected on my life, I noticed I avoided new challenges because I was afraid I would be judged unfit, unworthy and even worse, possibly a failure if I wasn’t perfect. I held back authentically communicating with others because I was afraid I might not say the right thing; all in an attempt to be perfect. There are times even now that I struggle to make everything “just so” but I have to remind myself that it’s alright to let it go.

If you have ever felt this way … that you need to be perfect; break the cycle by trying something new. You may be resistant at first, but with a little positive self-talk, you can make it happen. Self-defeating thoughts are destructive. Make an effort to push unreasonable thoughts about yourself out of your mind. Instead of beating yourself up like I did, ask yourself, “Will excessively high standards bring you happiness and good relationships? If you have an over-exaggerated expectation for yourself, those listening may also find that they don’t match up to your perfection and shy away from you. When you are less self-centered, people will find more joy in being around you.

Keep in mind you will make mistakes along the way, but you will also find that making mistakes is a part of the process. Learn to laugh at yourself. It will ease your tension and those around you. I admit it won’t be easy, but it is worth the effort and the end result.