Well, it is OFFICIAL!  Stephen Colbert has announced on his wildly popular cable show "The Colber(t) Repor(t)", that "the Christians" have won "the war" on Christmas - THANK GOD, or, at least, THANK YOU STEPHEN COLBERT!  Shall we call it "VC" Day?  Now, onward you Christian soldiers into the valley of New Year market margins - it's time to fight terrorism by shopping like never before!
 
 I'm just totally relieved, my depression has miraculously lifted!  I'm overjoyed that, at least, we've "won" a war, some war, somewhere, so there's, now, some sense of "victory" before years end!
 
With all the turmoil and the Unjust American War in Iraq - I was hoping we could put an end to the "war on Christmas" (or, just skip it this year).  For years, now, a few misguided, so-called "Christians" have worked really hard at embarrassing all of Christianity with their fear-based, manufactured media myth that there really is/was a "war" being waged against the birth of baby Jesus - it's just been a bizarre chapter in the mixed and muddled minds of the American psyche!

Is it than, really, any wonder why the vast majority of people on this planet look at Americans with quizzical stares and just roll their eyes in utter disbelief at some of our, all too public, pronunciations?
 
Bill O'Reilly, and a slew of television personalities (some of which actually have taken a class or two in journalism) have harped about this fantasy of fear for years!  Never mind that there has been no basis in reality for this delusional threat to the holidays - it was more important to do something, anything, to set Christmas apart (that is to say "above") the seasons of Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.  Of all the criticism I could throw (and believe me I'm withholding a major raving, ranting diatribe) at such small minded, so-called Christians, it's best to just say this is, and has been, sooooo childish...using words like, sophomoric, would be making way too much effort and giving way too much credit!
 
If it weren't for the humor of John Stewart, Lewis Black and Stephen Colbert these past few years- I swear I'd be in prison by now - or committed to a psych-ward somewhere, or, at best, disguised as a cave man hiding in a zoo (where animal behavior is well structured, instinctual, expected and only the fittest survive)!
 
So, I think Stephen Colbert in his comedic genius, is right on in his strategy - the best thing the rest of us can do is use "the blessing of sarcasm" from some vision of a God, any God, that does have a sense of humor, and give an illusionary "win" to their delusional "war"!  Let's remember how blessed we all are, but emembering that not all are aware of being blessed - after all, "stoopud don't no dey be's stoopud!"  And here's the beauty of it - "stoopud don't do sarcasm very well (most of them will probably never, ever know they're being mocked)!"
 
The "war" on Christmas is over - and "Christmas" won (along with everyone else)!  Now, we can 'be ye without fear' when we walk out of our homes into the public melee of shopping - fully prepared with a simple smile on our faces.  My next strategic step will be trying to find one of those new "Peace Wreaths" for my door!  I think I'll put a big yellow ribbon around it this year - just for the troops!  Please, anyone that's already found these - send me an e-mail!  On second thought, I'd better hang it on the inside of my dining room window (with a disclaimer note explaining it is NOT satanic)!  That will be cheerful news for my management association - they just love the to hear what the neighbors have to say!
 
I'm re-energized, fully ready and resigned to respond to ANY greetings!  Remember the old debate standard - "He who speaks first loses"?  I'm just silently smiling, going about my business, and waiting for someone else to greet me first!  Then, I'll respond kindly - in kind: "Merry Christmas" you say, well, "Merry Christmas to you too!"; "Happy Hanukkah", well, "Happy Hanukkah to you too!"; "Have a Joyful Kwanzaa", well, "You have a Kicking Kwanzaa too!", "Happy Holidays", yeah, "Happy Holidays to one - and ALL!"
 
Now, steeled with the grand social and spiritual victory of the season - can we start working on something really important?  Like  bringing our troops home from a real "Unjust War" in Iraq?  Please take a moment, seriously everyone, to include our soldiers, marines, sailors, airmen and women, and their families, in your thoughts, wishes and prayers this season...too many of them will be busy protecting themselves and their buddies, and trying to protect innocent Iraqi children, women and elderly citizens - a long, long way from home (not far from Bethlehem).  May God bless and protect them ALL!

Johnathan L. Abbinett is an honorably discharged, disabled U. S. Army veteran that has served on Active Duty, in the National Guard and Army Reserves. His professional Army career spanned nearly three decades. His field assignments began as a Weapons / Anti-Tank Specialist with the 1st Cavalry Division in Vietnam—later, he served as a Combat Trauma Medic with the 26th Infantry Pathfinder Platoon. He held nearly every enlisted leadership position and a variety of staff roles in Training, Operations and Intelligence.

Johnathan is a respected member of many of the national vet's services organizations. He now serves as a veteran's advocate, activist, chaplain and columnist on military and veterans issues. Currently, he is the State Chair of the Nevada Democratic Veterans & Military Families Corps Caucus. His column, "A Veteran's Voice" runs in "The Nevada Military Veterans Reporter" newspaper (that is distributed to all VA Clinics, vet group chapters and public libraries monthly), and, at www.vegascommunityonline.com under "Politically Speaking" twice a month. He can be reached at: jlabbinett@cox.net.