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"CHECK THIS!"
Bad Beats & Other Poker Fables
If you have been playing poker for more than 37 minutes in you life, you have some bad beat stories to tell. Your own, or others that the player sitting next to you at a poker table or in the coffee shop whined about. Stories that you had to listen to whether you wanted to or not…
Today I'm going to share with you some dealer bad beat stories and tales (true ones) that will make your mouth curve upward at the comers. At least here you can skip this column if you don't what to hear it…but I hope you will indulge me. You might get a kick out of some them and for you current or ex dealers, you might relate.
 As I told you in prior columns I started out as a shill dealer. I wrote last time about the first time I dealt in a live "snatch" game with a $5–$10 limit and how none of the players detected my 40–50% "rake," in spite of the fact that I was a "newbie," nervous as hell and did not have all my "moves" down yet.
It never ceases to amaze me, that 99% of the time the players or the "sweaters" (people watching) didn't pick up on the dealer taking so much out of the pot. 40 or 50% or more. I'm talking $20 or $30 if there was a lot of action. And that was in a $3 or $4 limit game. Some dealers were better than others and consequently able to "grab" more. I once "raked" the whole pot and pushed the player "air" but that one I'll tell in a few paragraphs…
Some card rooms had their best "snatch" dealers deal only the "snatch" games. The tokes (tips) were, as you can imagine, not as good as the regular games, but the house paid them a higher daily salary based on a percentage of what they dropped per hour or shift to compensate.
When I dealt at the Mint I dealt the regular rotation of games, 3 days a week and 2 days, I dealt the 6-card stud (6 as opposed to the more popular and common 7 card) "snatch" game on the regular "snatch" dealers days off.
I remember on one busy Saturday afternoon, a player sitting next to me on my left, began looking around the table, counting everyone chips and checking his watch, then stating, "You know, Ted, Joe (he mentioned two other friends names that were also playing at the table) and I have been here about three hours and I'm in a little over 100 dollars and Joe is in about the same and I think my other two friends bought even more and the other three players bought about eighty dollars that I know of. That's over 700 dollars. I looked around the table and I counted only about 200 dollars…Where did all the money go?" The only thing I could think of was "You know, a quarter here a quarter there…it adds up." He replied, "Oh!" and continued playing…Whew!
 Another time after counting and stacking his chips after winning the pot, a player said to me "I'm sorry I can only give you a quarter tip because I only won 3 dollars in that pot," after I had taken a $5 "rake." Yes I did feel a little guilty, but I was only following orders.
Another time I was dealing a game that had so much action and was so fast that I was filling the rack in front of me (they did not have a "drop box" in those days) every three hands or so. The brush man—an employee that sat the players and kept the tables clean and got chips for the players (not many brush men around anymore)—had to stand behind me with a rack, filled it with 100-dollar chips and brought it to the card room cashier every 2 or 3 hands.
Now, as promised "The Air Pot." Remember I'm not proud of everything I've done in a card room, but what's done is done and I have since asked for "The Higher Up's" forgiveness, so in spite of my poker transgressions I'm sure I can still get into that great poker game in the sky…
One of the best dealing jobs I ever had was at The Union Plaza in the '70s. I worked "grave yard" and I was the only dealer. They usually had only one game, a $3–$6 Hold-em game. The game was always full of downtown swing-shift dealers that played fast and toked well. I dealt non stop until I needed a break, so you could imagine the money I made dealing 3 hours on, 20 minutes off every night. If there was a stud game held over from swing shift, they held over a swing dealer until the game broke, then I dealt the Hold-em for the rest of the night. When there was more than one game from swing, the swing shift dealer and I split the games. One night I came into a Hold-em and 7-card stud snatch game. There was ONE live drunk player and four shills in the game. He was winning every pot and never came up with anything for the dealer…The sooner that game busted the sooner the swing dealer would go home and I would have the Hold-em to myself. The shills or the rake could not bust this guy or discourage him enough to quit…Every pot that he won, he would give a "HO! HO! HO!" and place his chips in a pile in front of him. In order to perhaps, help him on his way, I got the idea that if he could not lose perhaps if he did not win anything, he might cash out and leave. So at the conclusion of one hand that he was about to win, I pointed to him with one hand and with a "here you go buddy" pushed the remaining chips from the pot into the rack with my other hand, then rattled his pile with my out stretched hand. So even though I pushed him "air," he still gave a "HO! HO! HO!" and was ready for the next hand. Oh Well!
Next time, more Poker Fables
Good luck at the tables…I'd rather be lucky than good any time!
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