Party season has arrived! Office parties. Cocktail parties. Networking parties. Singles parties. Balls. Dances. Family gatherings for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

For the most formal of these occasions you may dust off your tux or full length ball gown, have them pressed in readiness for the great occasion  or buy new ones that will be appropriate.   Indeed, you’ll be  paying serious attention to what should be worn, and prepare for it. 

Family and friends

If mom and pop or  near and dear friends invite you to their home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, do you spare the same amount of thought regarding what you should wear for them?

Many parents, grandparents, and hosts and hostesses are disappointed because people turn up in  frayed  jeans,  T-shirt or other  wrinkled apparel. They complain that  when slobs encounter more circumspect guests, they scoff at them for being ”dressed up, ”claim “I always dress casual,” or “I like to be comfortable,” or worst of all, “What the heck! It’s only family.”

What a let-down!  A big thud in the hearts of  those who have painstakingly used their time and money  to make everything special. Probably they’ve spent hours to lovingly choose not only drinks and foods to tempt the palate, but colorful tablecloths and napkins themed to the occasion, a centerpiece on the table  or colorful streamers dangling from the ceiling.  Even if there are no  decorations, the occasion has been planned for fun, frolic and laughter  among kinfolk and friends  who care for one another. Alas! Guests who appear in  grungy duds can ruin the festive scene in seconds, offset the merry  atmosphere and douse the spirits of those who must spend hours looking at them.  All too soon everyone is  grumbling about wrongs they’ve suffered from  local tradesmen or giving vivid descriptions of  ailments instead of generating good feelings among themselves.   The whole event descends into something no more exhilarating than milling around among disgruntled passengers at a Greyhound bus station.

Hosts and hostesses, whoever they are, deserve the compliment of making a good appearance that will add to the festivity – not detract from it.  Besides, knowing you look dapper reinforces your pride and confidence in yourself which means a lot when you’re the date of a person who’s familiar with everyone present and you’re not.  This does not suggest  you should deck yourself out like Lord or Lady Fauntleroy, unless you’re recognized as a  stylish dresser in normal circumstances. It does mean appearing neat and tidy in something freshly laundered or, better yet, pressed and cleaned, and appropriate for the event.    

Choice of Color

Color plays an important  role in how others perceive you, according to the Center for Non-Verbal Studies.  Some women  rely on black rather than  risk being socially incorrect  by  selecting something brighter. It’s certainly as suitable  for business as a  funeral. Further, if it’s sleeveless and has a jacket, there’s no need to rush home from work to change for a later appointment.  It can become  sexy evening  wear  when the jacket is removed  and the rest of it enhanced by pearls or faux-diamond jewelry. (Just remember to wear a strapless bra so shoulder straps do not slip out from underneath.)

Nowadays there’s absolutely no reason to cling to the little black dress that has been a time-honored standby for far too long. Even female   judges tend to jazz up their dark robe with a bright red, green or yellow blouse visible at the neckline and wrists. Unrelieved solids, pastels, and mixtures are available in exciting combinations that can be striking when the shades enhance your figure and  complexion and the design is not  out of line with the place it’s worn.  

Dress in accordance with the event     

At power breakfasts, and business-and professional-networking parties that take place as soon after daybreak as 6:30AM  it’s customary for male and female attendees  to turn up in  attire that’s suitable for where they’ll be going next.   Evening events held for the same purpose are scheduled around 6:30PM so guests  can arrive straight from work and, of course, remain in their business clothing. 

For a man in a big city, business attire  includes a  suit and tie, or  might be a bit more casual elsewhere. In the latter  case  he could forego donning a jacket and wear an ironed shirt with tie, fashionable turtle neck garment with metal neckwear, or tastefully patterned silk shirt that needs no adornment.  He could combine a jacket with a shirt but no tie. Full-length pants, and leather shoes that are   polished and not down-at-heel, complete these outfits. Women usually wear fashionable shoes and a two piece suit, dress, or stylish pants-suit. Otherwise a skirt  paired  with a chic blouse and a little jewelry.

For evening frivolities and dances, men are expected to dress as above. Women often wear higher heels and wrap their curves in a fancier or more provocative dress, with a skirt of any measurement from mini to ankle length. Elegant pants suits are also in order.   

Wrong messages

If you’re a smart bunny you’ll avoid anything that could possibly send a message contrary to your basic character and personality, or image you wish to convey. In the case of C, her skimpy and purposely ragged outfits turn off the very class of male she wishes  to attract.       

Gals  who overdo the cleavage to the extent that  flesh is popping out of the neckline, or wear minis exposing most of their butt,  give the impression that the advertised areas are immediately available. If those are situations you welcome, or you’re  adept at fending them off,  okay.  Otherwise, it makes more sense to modify all your wardrobe pieces by an inch or so.

Those who favor scarlet are frequently subjected to sexy innuendoes and vulgar jokes instead of compliments.  If that doesn’t upset you you’ll know how to  handle it.    If it’s distressing, don’t wear red, button up, or cover all the body parts that Nancy Reagan’s red dresses did.  K  a vivacious blonde, has fun reinforcing her sizzling image.  At  parties she  shocks newcomers by shaking hands and greeting them with  “I’m 21. 36-26-36 and single.” In consequence, she  has earned a deplorable reputation.  Jack  wears a tie with a nude picture on it, or T-shirt  that has   vulgar wording  splashed across the front and back.   Admittedly he and K generate laughter  and gain short-term attention, but,  like Rodney Dangerfield “don’t get no respect”  Some day they may regret their  flagrant actions. Even the most open-minded individuals hesitate to introduce a Smart Alek to their inner  circle, enter into a serious relationship with him/her – or marry. That’s  because they don’t like criticism or fear the consequences.   

Nigel  confessed:  “My girlfriend speaks 5 languages, comes from an educated family and has a fab figure. There’s nothing wrong with her, nothing at all.” He paused and looked at me uneasily,  “except she insists on  wearing skin-tight clothing and  flaunting herself  like a hooker. I’d die if my grown children ever saw me in her company.  Kristine, a most attractive attorney, said “I’m the eldest of five children. We go to see each other on  Sundays  and  I  will  not  even consider taking  anyone who might embarrass me at family gatherings.”  Alan had deeper concerns.  “At Union Carbide, wives are an integral part of an executive’s lifestyle. I want  to marry my lady  but the way she clads herself could  sabotage my chances of rising to the top”  He’s bang on target with that prediction, according to  Jim Thorpe, who  has innumerable candidates for top exec spots, and their wives, receiving private tutorship at his company named How To Dress For Success.  “Judgment values and  extent of pride in yourself  are instantly evident from your grooming, taste in clothing, and combination of garments,” he affirms.   

Matters of opinion

With regard to the body inside the garment, a poll conducted by Men’s Fitness and Shape Magazine revealed that 35% of their readers claimed they would not enter a relationship or marry a woman who fills outsize clothing. A  number of local guys - some of whom are no fashion plates themselves -  said they  prefer women who wear skirts rather than slacks.  Well-dressed women  love men to  wear jackets, even when it’s too hot or  impractical to do so. Tango champion, Carmen,   tries to choose partners  with the same figure as her late husband, so the newcomer will fit into the deceased’s designer jackets. Brenda, a ballroom dancer,  has taken that idea one step further. She’s bought several  jackets in different sizes so, if a partner arrives without one, she’s ready to gussy him up.   

Trendy restaurants post notices  banning  cuts-offs, tank tops, flip flops and bare feet. On a more personal level, even the most tolerant individuals agree with that policy when it applies to the indoors; particularly  inside their own home.

Think about it! As long as your lifestyle has not been stabilized, you’re  still “looking,”  and have no idea who you may meet and what standards they  will subscribe to, it makes sense to pay infinite attention to the way you’re presenting yourself to others.